On April 30, 2016 I graduated from Oral Roberts University with my Bachelors of Science in Mathematics Education. I am certified to teach grades 5 - 12. Being a teacher was a life-long dream of mine, and I lived out my dream for 3 years. In those 3 years I taught 7th grade math, Algebra 1, and Algebra 2. I initially thought that I would be teaching until retirement, but during the summer before starting my 3rd year I started to feel very hesitant about going back. I knew that I wouldn't be teaching for much longer as the school year got underway. My heart wasn't in it anymore, and I just felt out of place. There were situations that happened like confrontations with parents and students that felt like confirmation it was time to leave. My body was physically reacting as well with anxiety and panic attacks. I was waking up in the middle of the night with back pain and a tight chest because of the anxiety and stress of knowing that teaching wasn't for me but I was still trying to force myself to go everyday.
I initially thought I could make it until the end of the school year before officially leaving, but God had other plans! During a Sunday night service at church, I felt so strongly that when I woke up Monday morning things were going to shift and change for me concerning my job. When I woke up Monday morning I felt the Lord telling me that after Christmas Break, I was not going back to work. Of course me, in true Sariah fashion, I questioned the Lord and ran down a list of reasons why leaving after Christmas wouldn't work. After going back and forth with the Lord for a little while, I finally said yes. As soon as I said yes, I felt all anxiety leave. My back had been in the worst pain I had experienced thus far but as soon as I said yes, the pain in back went away. Once I got in the car, I knew that I had to immediately go to my principal and tell him my decision. I was so emotional. I even asked him for a hug before leaving his office. It’s actually kind of hilarious looking back on that whole interaction.
Leaving teaching and leaving in the middle of the school year was the hardest decision I ever had to make to date. I left with no set plan, no next steps. I am a pre-planner by nature. Without a plan, I stress out very easily so the fact that I left with no set plan was all God. I didn't know how I was going to have money to pay my bills. I didn't know if I was supposed to start applying for other jobs. I just didn't know what my life was going to look like on the other side of Christmas Break. The entire process truly took my faith to another level. Looking back on what transpired and the timing of everything, I know that it was God. If I hadn’t gone back for the Fall semester of teaching, I would not have gotten my lesson on trusting God fully. I would not have had those experiences where God used different modes of communication to tell me that it was time to move. From this experience, I learned to look everywhere for communication from God. He doesn't just speak through prayer, but He speaks through our interactions with people, through our conversations, through the physical condition of our bodies, etc. God is not bound by anything. He made all things and He uses them all to speak to us. I stepped out on faith and I had to believe that God would be faithful to order my steps.
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